This is known as the Deck of Many Things in the D&D community. What you do is make commoners each draw a card and rob those that survive.

Edit: Haha, disregard that, I suck cocks.

Edit, edit: Seriously though, I assign minus infinity to my death. Thus I never knowingly endanger myself. Thus I draw no cards. I also round tiny probabilities down to zero so I can go outside despite the risk of meteors.