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lockeandkeynes comments on Rationalists lose when others choose - Less Wrong
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I think the idea is that revenge both requires time, effort, and resources, whilst breeding further malcontent between you and the person you take revenge against, causing you to have a greater field of people who would not wish to help you, or who would work against you.
Alternately, if you were to try and make the same person like you better (though that's not always possible), it would confer more advantages to you generally.
It would, of course, depend on the situation. Perhaps not the word "revenge", but "retribution" can indeed be a calculated and well thought out effective response. Note "response", not "reaction". Revenge is a heuristic reaction, not a thought-out response.