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MendelSchmiedekamp comments on Absolute denial for atheists - Less Wrong
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If you read this site's definition of Epistemic Rationality, logically in order to achieve it you must pay attention to the reality which your map is intended to resemble. Meanwhile, there is ample research indicating that paying attention to people is a hugely powerful social tool for making friends, which translates to increasing the likelihood of finding, entering into, and maintaining romantic relationships (not to mention that paying attention to your significant others may be of some benefit too).
So perhaps the question isn't what should a rationalist be doing if their social / love life isn't so good, but rather are you really pursuing rationality effectively if you haven't seen some of these improvements as a matter of course?
Your rationality is just fine. You're just ugly.
(Now watch yourself go "No I'm not!" "Society's standards are out of whack!" "The opposite gender can't see my true beauty!")
As a matter of fact, I am. I've done enough research on facial structure and body type to recognize subtleties that most people will miss consciously. Although I do have nice skin. But that comes from keeping hydrated and away from major sun damage, which may have something to do with rationality.
And, here's the interesting part, I have found major benefits by being rational, in exactly the way I'm describing.
On the other hand, if you want to treat other people as solved systems, and stop worrying about them, I suspect you are out of luck.
I'm thinking of someone I work with, who is quite definitely less good looking than just "plain". Aesthetically awful. However, she dresses and does her makeup immaculately, and then projects through personality. And this seems to work for attraction.
And a short fat guy who is brilliantly witty and perceptive and dresses well will never be short of a girlfriend.
MendelSchmiedekamp's message is one of hope: this stuff is reducible and many have reduced it before, so get learning.
I think I've got a pretty realistic view of my own attractiveness (probably an average rating on the scales of those around me of about a 6.5, but with a lot of variance, thank god).