I'm merely against the idea that anyone has a "right" over the thoughts of others, or a right to not have their feelings hurt

I agree with the first part - that's pretty obvious from any common conception of rights - it's very hard to support rights about thoughts simultaneously with any right to liberty.

Of course, it wasn't central to the complaint. The main issue is that we might be driving people away, and there are at least a few people for whom it is true.

Here, we should be talking about how to disconnect our buttons, rather than how to insist that other people stop pushing them.

I disagree. If you take away the 'buttons', there isn't much left. While of course rationality for AIs is relevant here, most of the discussion should be about rationality implemented in humans. And while there are some who think rationality requires denying what it is to be human, I would not be among them.