pjeby comments on Of Exclusionary Speech and Gender Politics - Less Wrong

62 Post author: Eliezer_Yudkowsky 21 July 2009 07:22AM

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Comment author: pjeby 16 April 2010 03:50:46PM 4 points [-]

The model PUAs have of women in the gender-atypical minority taxon sucks.

I think that this depends a lot on what you mean by "model". If you mean their calibration of what specific behaviors (e.g. yelling, being silly, very aggressive, etc.), then yes, I'd agree -- it's calibrated for "club girls" and nightclub environments.

But my observation is that the atyipcal women (whom I've pretty much exclusively dated) still respond to what the PUA's would call dominance traits -- just not the same signifiers for those traits. The main difference is that atypicals prefer you to show dominance over things other than them. (Except maybe in the bedroom, given explicit discussion and consent.)

For example, having a purpose and sense of direction in life, knowing what you want, being decisive, etc. are still a factor in atypicals' attraction algorithm. Intellectual dominance, in the sense of being articulate, knowledgeable, insightful, etc. Not having these qualities tends to get you filtered out.

Atypicals don't engage in status testing by being jerks (well, maybe some occasional sarcasm); they do it mainly by seeing if you can keep up with them intellectually -- can you match them, pun for pun, double entendre for double entendre? Do you get their obscure references?

This is still status testing/flirting, just different.

(Hm, actually, it's occurring to me that some atypicals I've known still had the whole orbiter hierarchy thing going on, and tended to end up sleeping with the highest-dominant jerks in their group... just reasonably intelligent jerks. This behavior pattern seems to be more correlated with whether a woman is found attractive by a lot of guys, rather than whether she's neurotypical per se.)