Sirducer comments on Of Exclusionary Speech and Gender Politics - Less Wrong

62 Post author: Eliezer_Yudkowsky 21 July 2009 07:22AM

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Comment author: Sirducer 21 July 2009 08:50:08PM 6 points [-]

but the fact that "the attitude that your partner should be respected" is seen as a negative thing seems to be pointing pretty clearly towards the no direction.

No! NO! NO!

Your long-term partner should be your soulmate, with a high degree of mutual trust and respect. But a woman who you have not yet had sex with is simply not going to respond well to you "respecting" her.

Comment author: HughRistik 22 July 2009 12:41:07AM 9 points [-]

I think that some people will easily misread your comment as implying that men should not respect women early in the interaction.

My guess is that you are actually trying to say something different, based on your use of "respect" in quotes: You are saying that women may not respond well to attempts by men to signal respect.

If you are saying the second thing, then I agree: it is important to hold respect for the other person at all points in the interaction, yet certain ways that society encourages men to signal respect are counterproductive and unattractive.

Comment author: pjeby 21 July 2009 09:01:39PM 14 points [-]

But a woman who you have not yet had sex with is simply not going to respond well to you "respecting" her.

Actually, people in general will be creeped out or think you're of lower status if you're too easily impressed, i.e. offer too much "respect" before they feel they've earned it. It's got nothing to do with gender, except insofar as low status-ness is unattractive.