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Nanani comments on The Nature of Offense - Less Wrong
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I think that if we are going to have a comment policy that takes offense into consideration at all, the burden of proof needs to be on the offendee, not the alleged offender.
Please everyone, try to ignore your monkey-brain-bits a tiny bit more.
I thought the burden of proof was on the offendee already, but it's not a bad idea to point this out in the comment policy. "If you see something offensive which detracts from a post, please politely describe what is offensive about it so that the author can correct it." Or words to that effect.
What could be used for proof?
This is about emotions. We can't completely get away from them, but they're something of a rubber ruler.