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Jordan comments on The Nature of Offense - Less Wrong
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If I were badly disfigured I would much prefer people saying that to my face than babbling off a lie. I would even prefer it to silence. If I'm talking to someone and they say nothing of my appearance I'm sure I could tell that they were at least thinking about it. I would much prefer that they think about it out loud than "behind my back" in their head.
Plus, my experience has always been that mutual insults are a great way for people to become friends. Maybe it's the "civilized" version of play fighting that many animals (and human kids) engage in.
Beware of hypotheticals.
Would you also prefer it to talking about something relevant, like whatever you happened to be meeting about?
"Hi, I'm Amy. Nice to meet you. Now to get right down to business, let's look at this chart..."
"Hi, I'm Amy. Nice to meet you. Man, you're ugly...
In most cases, there's nothing to be gained by #2.