Works with internet flame wars too. (Or is it that I am more likely to provoke flame when I am working hard? Causality is tricky!).

On occasion, I get in trouble with my [ ] ... think my motivation is somewhere along the lines of trying to be hyper nice in order not to draw more negative attention to myself

'Getting in trouble'? General supplication to avoid negative attention? Is this your wife or your mother you're talking about here?