a big problem is the human tendency to associate strongly with beliefs so that they become a part of your identity.

This is true. Another thing that make such arguments difficult/pointless is that it seems the majority of people give rationalizations for what they believe instead of giving the reasons for which they actually obtained those beliefs. This is understandable as people often don't know (or won't admit to) the way they obtained their beliefs. If one doesn't know/won't admit/won't say why they really think what they do, there's no possible way to present a counter-argument against it. I think there's a post saying pretty much this around here somewhere.