In writing it's even simpler - the author gets to create the whole social universe, and the readers are immersed in the hero's own internal perspective. And so anything the heroes do, which no character notices as wrong, won't be noticed by the readers as unheroic. Genocide, mind-rape, eternal torture, anything.

I don't think you give readers enough credit. The author has some influence, but not that much. Some of what appears to be acceptance of the social norms depicted is really just acceptance that the characters live within those norms.

For the influence that does exist, there's a whole body of criticism, controversy, and alternative versions taking on various uses of it. It's so well known, I didn't even realize you were trying to call attention to it. I read the story as straightforward propaganda for your work on an artificial BDFL.