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MBlume comments on 'oy, girls on lw, want to get together some time?' - Less Wrong
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Chances are, you with a girlfriend and you without a girlfriend are very nearly two different people. Which do you think has a better shot at saving the world?
(I don't mean to answer the question for you -- I don't know you that well.)
With a girlfriend, I care more about saving the world.
Without a girlfriend, I have more time to actually save it.
The best of both world is... polyandry?
More different than that:
When my last relationship was going well, I was far more centered, far more emotionally stable. I was definitely at least an SD above my current state as far as non-effortful nonverbal status signaling -- that is, I probably came off better in social situations, whether or not she was with me.
Interesting. I signal less and am less social overall when in a serious relationship. Probably because I predominantly view social interaction as a way of finding a partner.
Oddly enough, that's part of what I'm talking about.
Outside of a relationship, the immediate, hedonic stakes are higher in any social interaction (for you apparently, and also for me -- I don't mean to speak for/about any others). The other party can sense this, and it makes you seem low-status. If the interaction seems less intrinsically important to you -- if you're not going to take a large hedonic hit depending on how the conversation goes -- this makes you seem more high-status.
(HT: Eliezer, who articulated the distinction between hedonically valuing social approval and valuing it for its utility during a panel at the Singularity Summit)