Jordan comments on 'oy, girls on lw, want to get together some time?' - Less Wrong

31 Post author: MBlume 02 October 2009 10:50AM

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Comment author: Jordan 14 October 2009 06:13:28AM 13 points [-]

With a girlfriend, I care more about saving the world.

Without a girlfriend, I have more time to actually save it.

The best of both world is... polyandry?

Comment author: MBlume 14 October 2009 06:18:17AM 10 points [-]

More different than that:

When my last relationship was going well, I was far more centered, far more emotionally stable. I was definitely at least an SD above my current state as far as non-effortful nonverbal status signaling -- that is, I probably came off better in social situations, whether or not she was with me.

Comment author: Jordan 14 October 2009 07:00:48PM 2 points [-]

Interesting. I signal less and am less social overall when in a serious relationship. Probably because I predominantly view social interaction as a way of finding a partner.

Comment author: MBlume 03 November 2009 12:39:45AM *  6 points [-]

I signal less and am less social overall when in a serious relationship.

Oddly enough, that's part of what I'm talking about.

Outside of a relationship, the immediate, hedonic stakes are higher in any social interaction (for you apparently, and also for me -- I don't mean to speak for/about any others). The other party can sense this, and it makes you seem low-status. If the interaction seems less intrinsically important to you -- if you're not going to take a large hedonic hit depending on how the conversation goes -- this makes you seem more high-status.

(HT: Eliezer, who articulated the distinction between hedonically valuing social approval and valuing it for its utility during a panel at the Singularity Summit)