Zvi comments on Let them eat cake: Interpersonal Problems vs Tasks - Less Wrong
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The problem you're describing is big. Really big. Ignoring the issue of whether the advice being given is wrong, saying "be yourself" or "meet potential partners through friends" is breaking up one big problem into subproblems, which is helpful if you can get past that extra just they tack on. The real work still lies ahead, but that's still progress.