billswift comments on Let them eat cake: Interpersonal Problems vs Tasks - Less Wrong
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You're not the first to notice the problem, though Alicorn's terminology does make it a bit easier to describe. You should read the last chapter of David Friedman's "Hidden Order", "The Economics of Love and Marriage". He doesn't give any answers, but he approaches the same problem from a somewhat different angle.
What an excellent book that was.
Simon Bowmaker, et al did something similar in their textbookish Economics Uncut. Recommended reading.