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PhilGoetz comments on Let them eat cake: Interpersonal Problems vs Tasks - Less Wrong
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Nicely said.
The desire to have things "just happen" can help level the playing field. The more desirable a person is, the more likely "wait for the miracle" will work for them sometimes, the more likely they are to buy into it, and thus be available and/or desperate enough for a less-desirable person who is trying to make things happen. (At the extreme, I think that very beautiful women typically spend more effort trying to avoid meeting potential mates than trying to meet them.)
Yup, you are seeing what I'm getting at.
Yes, but even though such women may get many offers, such "potential mates" are not potential mates that satisfy their criteria. These women may need to spend effort to meet (and compete with each other) over the miniscule subset of exceptionally attractive and high status men they have their sights on.