Yup, you are seeing what I'm getting at.

At the extreme, I think that very beautiful women typically spend more effort trying to avoid meeting potential mates than trying to meet them.

Yes, but even though such women may get many offers, such "potential mates" are not potential mates that satisfy their criteria. These women may need to spend effort to meet (and compete with each other) over the miniscule subset of exceptionally attractive and high status men they have their sights on.