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That sums things up for me. To paraphrase Katie Lucas, every piece of interpersonal skills advice I've come across has, at its kernel, a very small section labelled "do magic here" -- or at least it often seems like magic to those who need that kind of advice in the first place.
As a member of that lower caste, I'm always interested in the possibility of systematizing social/dating skills. I'm currently looking into books, videos, etc. intended for autistic and Asperger people. I am neither (as far as I know), but it seems like they're the most likely to receive clear, algorithmic (so to speak) advice, because there's a recognized medical need for it. Probably it's easier for society to sympathize with them than with your run-of-the-mill geek with poor social skills, even if there are similar solutions to both of their problems. (I don't mean to belittle the problems faced by actual autistics, who absolutely do deserve that sympathy, but I also think that there should be no shame in applying the same solutions (if they work) to similar types of problems when they are faced by non-autistics.)
I'm trying a few such books right now. I might be back with some recommendations if any of them help.
I'm with you on this. One small step I've taken is to compile all the rules I've aggregated from various sources about when and where it's okay to touch a woman (in the sense of "it would not be considered out-of-line to do this, though you may be politely asked to stop") into a chart. When I posted it on another forum, it became simultaneously the funniest and truest artwork I have ever produced.
ETA: Okay, because of the interest, I'll post it. Some disclaimers:
1) This is intended to give socially inept guys assurance against false accusations of being a "perv" or "too aggressive". Adhering to the chart will only mean that you will not be so labeled, and that women that complain to their friends or the venue's manager will receive little sympathy. It does not mean it is the optimal time to touch or that you won't be turned down (you should thereafter stop), just that you are within acceptable behavior boundaries and should stand your ground if you get flak.
2) To make the image less offensive, a man's body is color-coded. It refers to a woman, of course.
3) You can zoom in, at least if you permit javascript from enough domains.
With that said, here's the diagram. You'll probably laugh, or deem it true, or both.
Cute!!! I would note that most men are too conservative with touch in general. What you're touching is not always as important as that your touching, which immediately establishes an intimacy not achievable by mere conversation. The woman will let you know in one way or another if she wants you to stop, but she will almost never say she wants you to start, or even know it herself. Learning how to give a backrub is probably a good idea.
I second the backrubs. Backrubs are excellent. Nonthreatening (well, assuming you don't say anything creepy while near the neck, or stray south), casual, they feel awesome, and they're easy to segue into from the other party stretching or just saying "my back is killing me". I do recommend asking rather than just starting on one, though. Certain back problems don't react well to them, and there might be hair or a necklace or something to get out of the way, and they can be delivered in a startling way if begun without warning.
Compare George W. Bush and Angela Merkel.
Now that you said that, how the hell am I ever going to resist the temptation next time :(
Thirded - but don't take my interest as evidence one way or the other as to whether most women would find such a thing offensive.
Now you have to show it.
Link to female-touch guide posted. (Karma currently at 666.)
It also depends on where the woman is from.
That's a great diagram!
I'd personally move the back of the neck to the purple zone - it can be considered intimate touch.
I'd also add feet to the diagram (they're currently in white) and I'd personally colour them purple. Note that offering a foot-massage, is often a good "move" to test the waters (or even just be nice to a friend who's had a hard day).
But I fully applaud this kind of clear instruction - I like it.
No data on boko-maru? :)
Meaning "feet" in Japanese? No, not yet :-P
I'm surprised no one else has remarked on that. In the other forum I got a lot of "ROFL@No data".
Actually, I was only advertising "Cat's Cradle", my favorite Kurt Vonnegut novel.
Nice one! True(ish). A bit on the conservative side, but that's probably what you were aiming at!
Link?