Personally I'd say you shouldn't "be a feminist" at all. Have goals (whether relating to women's rights or anything else) and try to find the best ways to reach them. Don't put a political label on yourself that will constrain your thinking and/or be socially and emotionally costly to change. Though given that you seem to have invested a lot of your identity in feminism it's probably already hard to change.
Don't put a political label on yourself that will constrain your thinking and/or be socially and emotionally costly to change.
As mentioned above, this particular person does seem unusually good at not being so constrained.
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