If that is your stated position then in what way can you claim to create FAI with this whimsical set of goals?

Were it within my power to do so I would create a machine that was really, really good at doing things I like. It is that simple. This machine is (by definition) 'Friendly' to me.

you will end up being a deluded self serving optimizer.

I don't know where the 'deluded' bit comes from but yes, I would end up being a self serving optimizer. Fortunately for everyone else my utility function places quite a lot of value on the whims of other people. My self serving interests are beneficial to others too because I am actually quite a compassionate and altruistic guy.

PS: Instead of using quotation marks you can put a '>' at the start of a quoted line. This convention makes quotations far easier to follow. And looks prettier.