You traded off a lot of readability for the device of making the protagonist's gender indeterminate. Was this intended to serve some literary purpose that I'm missing? On the whole the story didn't seem to be about gender.
I also have to second DanArmak's comment that if there was an overall point, I'm missing that also.
Key's gender is not indeterminate. Ey is actually genderless. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear - there's a bit about it in eir second conversation with Trellis.
ITT we talk about whatever.