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NancyLebovitz comments on Open Thread: December 2009 - Less Wrong
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I wrote a short story with something of a transhumanism theme. People can read it here. Actionable feedback welcome; it's still subject to revision.
Note: The protagonist's name is "Key". Key, and one other character, receive Spivak pronouns, which can make either Key's name or eir pronouns look like some kind of typo or formatting error if you don't know it's coming. If this annoys enough people, I may change Key's name or switch to a different genderless pronoun system. I'm curious if anyone finds that they think of Key and the other Spivak character as having a particular gender in the story; I tried to write them neither, but may have failed (I made errors in the pronouns in the first draft, and they all went in one direction).
I enjoyed the story-- it was an interesting world. By the end of the story, you were preaching to a choir I'm in.
None of the characters seemed strongly gendered to me.
I was expecting opposition to anesthesia to include religiously based opposition to anesthesia for childbirth, and for the whole idea of religion to come as a shock. On the other hand, this might be cliched thinking on my part. Do they have religion?
The neuro couldn't be limited to considered reactions-- what about the very useful fast reflexive reaction to pain?
Your other two story links didn't open.
Religion hasn't died out in this setting, although it's uncommon in Key's society specifically. Religion was a factor in historical opposition to anesthesia (I'm not sure of the role it plays in modern leeriness about painkillers during childbirth) but bringing it up in more detail would have added a dimension to the story I didn't think it needed.
Reflexes are intact. The neuro just translates the qualium into a bare awareness that damage has occurred. (I don't know about everyone, but if I accidentally poke a hot burner on the stove, my hand is a foot away before I consciously register any pain. The neuro doesn't interfere with that.)
I will check the links and see about fixing them; if necessary, I'll HTMLify those stories too. ETA: Fixed; they should be downloadable now.