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SilasBarta comments on A Suite of Pragmatic Considerations in Favor of Niceness - Less Wrong
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In my experience, people who are particularly nice in debates and discussions (as opposed to mere conversations) are usually those whose opinions are either the bland dogmas that everyone accepts without thinking, or the ridiculous nonsense that only crackpots believe. In both cases, niceness is used as a defense against criticism: No one wants to be the strident jerk who has to tell the nice person how wrong he is.
No one except me, maybe ...
The fact that you want to be that person should give you tremendous pause. You've written yourself a rather heroic role - I urge you to consider carefully whether this is really accuracy-maximizing behaviour.
I would want to be the nice person who tells the other nice person how wrong he is. One can be blunt without being unkind.