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MBlume comments on A Suite of Pragmatic Considerations in Favor of Niceness - Less Wrong
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Good question to ask yourself: When have you thought "that would have ended better if only I'd been a more mean?"
My last relationship.
ETA: Like most snappy retorts, this isn't precisely true. My last relationship would've gone a lot better had I stood up for myself, which could have been done nicely, but which my predisposition to be nice still prevented.