Morendil comments on Normal Cryonics - Less Wrong

58 Post author: Eliezer_Yudkowsky 19 January 2010 07:08PM

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Comment author: Morendil 07 February 2010 11:32:11PM *  0 points [-]

Suggested edits:

  • turn the opening sentence into a question, "Is cryonics pseudoscience ?"
  • change "is nothing more than wishful thinking" into "could be nothing more", etc.
  • change "If you don't believe that, you can read" into "This is the point of view argued in"
  • strike "This makes me sad, because", so the sentence starts "To my naive eyes"

This way your hook is neutral enough to draw everyone in.

ETA: I would be careful with the £25/mo quote, until and unless you get a quote from Rudi Hoffman or elsewhere. At least mention that the pricing is one of those logistical issues you've promised to cover in further posts.