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Alicorn comments on Babies and Bunnies: A Caution About Evo-Psych - Less Wrong
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I am not upset if people write in or around their uncertainty about my gender. "He/his" does not do either, but "(s)he" or "ey" or "they" or "Alicorn" or "the OP" or whatever would be all fine and no contact would be necessary.