Can your job description be in any sense likened to guard labor?

It's "firefighter labor." Supposedly, if the system I support goes down, it's $1,000,000 per hour, which would mean if I save an hour of downtime, I've paid my salary for several years. But the number was likely a wild guess in the first place, and I received it 5th hand, so I have no idea as to the truth of the matter. All I know for sure is that it's an important and costly system.

I can't feel that number at all, and certainly no one around me seems to care much about it, either. Everyone I work with on problems with the system cares more that there's a "red light" that our Big Boss will see. Big Boss gets upset with red lights, not that anyone ever gets blamed, punished, or held accountable. Must be a status thing.

Why do you interpret the situation as reflecting poorly on your work ethic?

Potentially because I'm idealistic, and realize that I have "untapped potential" and other buzz-phrases. More likely, I have emotional problems dealing with an on-call, firefighter position, and inappropriate low self-esteem. This is not helped by the fact my bonuses are not linked to actual events, nor are the awards. My supervisor lies on the applications for political reasons (quotas, etc.).

But I wouldn't mind at all a situation in which I got paid by someone who didn't get anything in return, if the contract otherwise allowed me to to meaningful work.

I don't have an exclusivity contract preventing me from doing additional work, but I do have rigid security on my work computer, and I don't have any projects I feel like contributing to at the moment. "Meaningful work" is an elusive concept to me.

I'd rather be reading a book, but that's too blatant to get away with.