gjm comments on Tell Your Rationalist Origin Story - Less Wrong
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"Bias" here and on OB generally refers to systematic errors in our truth-seeking and decision-making processes. For instance, confirmation bias: we notice evidence in favour of our beliefs much more easily than evidence against.
Lots of important things happen in the brain without words. (And, just in case that last sentence is meant to be anything more than a joke: there are obviously far more things than words, though it's not so clear whether or not there are more things than are adequately describable in words.)
I would certainly prefer to be loved on such terms than to be hated on such terms, but in general I value someone's love and/or respect more when it is based on who I am and what I am like. Consider a more specific kind of love: would you want to be married to someone who loves you exactly as much as s/he loves everyone else in the world, and whose love is entirely independent of who you are?
I am skeptical; do you have any evidence that children spontaneously invent this idea themselves? I think the tradition of saying that is passed down from one child to another, and sometimes from parents to children (I don't believe that adults are completely consistent in not liking it) and the reason is not that there's any truth in it but that it's a good-sounding retort. If you're right then the idea should probably be found roughly equally in all cultures; if I'm right then it should probably be much less common in some cultures. I wonder which of these is so.
Perhaps you do, but I don't think you have enough information to know that you do.
It seems to me that there is a difference between having the (single, vague, abstract) thought "for all X, I love myself as X" and the (multiple, more specific and concrete) thoughts for all X: "I love myself as X". And while I can imagine (though I remain to be convinced) that the latter might turn out to be helpful in the project of loving one's neighbours, the former seems less relevant; but the latter seems to be what you're actually talking about here.
I do not believe you. Would you care to explain why I should?
(Unless you mean something as limited as "one thing the brain does is to use words, and sometimes words remind us of their opposites", which is true but doesn't seem to me to offer any support for your claims.)
Any and all preconceived ideas, of which most of us have far more than we care to admit. You can find (what I take to be) a less condensed description of the same idea in <a href="http://www.overcomingbias.com/2007/10/cached-thoughts.html">an OB post from 2007</a>.