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Voltairina comments on Ugh fields - Less Wrong

153 [deleted] 12 April 2010 05:06PM

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Comment author: Voltairina 08 March 2012 06:35:45PM 3 points [-]

I have a similar thing with a friend. Only, in my situation, I'm paranoid that they're the flinchee, and it makes me avoid them because I don't want to make them uncomfortable. But I'm also not sure how to be less awkward, or whether they want to connect more at all. I feel as though I bore them, a bit, too.

Comment author: Jakeness 02 November 2012 11:57:42PM 1 point [-]

I used to feel exactly the same way you described, but towards everyone apart from very close friends and immediate family members. It's a horrible feeling, and a definite social handicap. At some point, I simply stopped caring and began to act myself around everyone. If they feel uncomfortable, then they can find a way to deal with it. If I am boring them, they are probably boring me as well, so I do not see why it should be up to me to resolve the issue. It does not benefit me in any way to hobble my personality to be "less awkward," and in most cases I feel that doing so will only make the situation worse.