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bentarm comments on Eight Short Studies On Excuses - Less Wrong
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If typing an abbreviation saves you less than 10 keystrokes, but increases the time taken to parse your post by at least 30 seconds for at least one reader, it almost certainly isn't socially optimal to use it (although I did get the pleasure of an 'aha' moment when I finally figured out what 'IOW' was supposed to mean).
IOW is such a common abbreviation online that it actually INCREASED my speed of parsing the post.
And I suspect, if you encounter it in future, you may eventually find it to save you time also. IOW, "IOW" may actually be socially optimal in many contexts, even if some people don't understand it.
Much like using the abbreviation FAI.
You both managed to have this discussion without actually saying that IOW should be parsed as "In other words." This was sub optimal as it forced me to google it myself. Hopefully this post will provide utility to future readers.