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Alicorn comments on Do you have High-Functioning Asperger's Syndrome? - Less Wrong
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Lack of empathy is not an autistic trait. Unconventional (possibly unreliable) channels for the apprehension of others' feelings, and unconventional channels for expressing empathy, are, which is often confused for outright lack. I'm also not sure why the position of her eyes is supposed to be relevant to any of this.
You beat me to it. I'll add that there is a difference between "reading social cues and inferring probable mental states of others in real time and responding appropriately" and "caring about the situation of others", even though the word empathy is used for both concepts. (Many people are essentially unable to distinguish the two concepts, so closely do they associate them.)
In my own case, suggesting ways to solve problems that are causing emotional distress. Some people find this very annoying. Asking questions to figure out what the problem is at base should in almost all cases follow, not precede expressions of sympathy and reassurance. How advice is presented is also very important; giving advice is an implicit claim that you know more than the other person, i.e. that you're of higher status. Many people are extremely bad at distinguishing critique and criticism, and one way of disarming their defensive reactions is framing advice as "Well, I'm sure you've heard all this before/thought of this already but..." This will of course just piss off some other people who'll see it as talking down to them, I've used "permission to speak frankly" at few times in the past weeks dealing with a friend who I think has AS as well.
Any other unconventional channels or expressions of same you can think of?
One that I'm prone to is backing off and leaving people alone when they're emotionally upset, based on my own preference to be left alone in such situations. That one actually doesn't go too badly so long as I remember to say something along the lines of "if you want to talk about it, let me know" first, but I'm pretty sure some people find it off-putting.
Maybe something to do with the facial asymmetry JanetK mentions here?