As to understanding politeness/social appropriateness, it's not so much that I don't UNDERSTAND these things, as that I find them silly, and can't force myself to play along with things that I see as stupid status games masquerading as meaningful social interaction.

No offence meant, but that sounds like sour grapes to me. (Surely e.g. having irregular verbs might be seen as silly, too, but you still say “took” rather than “taked” etc., because those are norms of the medium of communication. Politeness and social appropriateness are norms of media of communication all the same.)