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NancyLebovitz comments on The Social Coprocessor Model - Less Wrong
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I suggest there's a difference between "testing" and "checking". In a test, you're trying to find out whether the other person will fail or (in the case of bullies) hoping they will, while in a check, you'll hoping they'll succeed. I gather there are some people who are pretty evenly balanced on the chack/test scale-- if the other person passes, fine, it's a potential friendship, and if the other person fails, the harassment commences.
I think that a lot of small talk is what I call "pinging"-- "Hello, I'm here and friendly".
Good point about the pinging.
Using your test/check distinction, I think in most cases, including the "buy me a drink" scenario, what's going on is a check. After all, the attractive girl is in a bar talking to the guy; she'd prefer the guy be attractive to her, not a pushover.