People in relationships push each other all the time to see how the other person will react. Even friends not of each other's preferred gender do this. You may be taking the "buy me a drink" example too literally.

Maybe it's happening so subtly that I can't see it, but I don't think everyone is pushing that much all the time.

I think you're defining yourself as normal, and rather subtly making a status claim that anyone who doesn't fit in well with you is deficient.