JoshuaZ comments on On Enjoying Disagreeable Company - Less Wrong

49 Post author: Alicorn 26 May 2010 01:47AM

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Comment author: JoshuaZ 26 May 2010 09:27:09PM 3 points [-]

Except that's not useful, because socially-adept people violate that in spades.

Yes, they can afford to violate it because they can pick up on the relevant subtle cues. Any attempt at systematization in this sort is going to require having a more restrained set of options than that used by socially-adept people. That's because the rules for how humans interact are really complicated. So even if you did have a decent descriptor for how they all worked, keeping track of all those rules would be really difficult.

Comment author: SilasBarta 26 May 2010 09:45:22PM *  0 points [-]

Yes, they can afford to violate it because they can pick up on the relevant subtle cues. Any attempt at systematization in this sort is going to require having a more restrained set of options than that used by socially-adept people.

And adhering to this rule will so constrain you and mark you as unusual, that it's no different from just doing aspie SOP (what you'd do anyway).

If I could afford to only talk to people in these circumstances, I wouldn't be asking for social advice.

Comment author: AdeleneDawner 26 May 2010 10:26:38PM 4 points [-]

And adhering to this rule will so constrain you and mark you as unusual, that it's no different from just doing aspie SOP (what you'd do anyway).

It's different in that it's a kind of unusual behavior that helps one learn skills that can then be used to make one appear less abnormal.

Isomorphically, someone who was just learning to drive would not immediately try to drive on a busy highway; they would start by practicing in an empty parking lot, even though that's not a normal venue for driving. Once they were confident in their ability to get the results that they wanted from their car, then they'd try driving on roads.