wedrifid comments on Unknown knowns: Why did you choose to be monogamous? - Less Wrong

48 Post author: WrongBot 26 June 2010 02:50AM

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Comment author: ciphergoth 26 June 2010 11:56:43AM 15 points [-]

with poly you can just focus your time on attention on the relationship that isn't dysfunctional at any given time

In general I've found that it's the relationship that isn't going right that most needs time and attention. Of course it helps a lot that you can draw strength from other partners during that time, but this is a role that friends can also fulfil.

Of course saying no to 'drama' takes a lot of maturity and strong boundaries to master.

In my experience, you can say no to drama all you like, but sometimes it comes around anyway, and to care for those you love sometimes you just have to deal with it!

Comment author: wedrifid 26 June 2010 12:30:47PM *  3 points [-]

In general I've found that it's the relationship that isn't going right that most needs time and attention.

Sometimes. Sometimes time and attention is exactly what it doesn't need.

In my experience, you can say no to drama all you like, but sometimes it comes around anyway, and to care for those you love sometimes you just have to deal with it!

It depends somewhat on what we mean by 'drama' and on how experienced you are at handling emotional situations in a healthy way.

Edit: What pjeby said.