khafra comments on Open Thread: July 2010, Part 2 - Less Wrong

6 Post author: Alicorn 09 July 2010 06:54AM

You are viewing a comment permalink. View the original post to see all comments and the full post content.

Comments (770)

You are viewing a single comment's thread. Show more comments above.

Comment author: [deleted] 15 July 2010 05:36:53PM 3 points [-]

I figure the open thread is as good as any for a personal advice request. It might be a rationality issue as well.

I have incredible difficulty believing that anybody likes me. Ever since I was old enough to be aware of my own awkwardness, I have the constant suspicion that all my "friends" secretly think poorly of me, and only tolerate me to be nice.

It occurred to me that this is a problem when a close friend actually said, outright, that he liked me -- and I happen to know that he never tells even white lies, as a personal scruple -- and I simply couldn't believe him. I know I've said some weird or embarrassing things in front of him, and so I just can't conceive of him not looking down on me.

So. Is there a way of improving my emotional response to fit the evidence better? Sometimes there is evidence that people like me (they invite me to events; they go out of their way to spend time with me; or, in the generalized professional sense, I get some forms of recognition for my work). But I find myself ignoring the good and only seeing the bad.

Comment author: khafra 15 July 2010 05:56:36PM *  2 points [-]

Alicorn's Living Luminously series covers some methods of systematic mental introspection and tweaking like this. The comments on alief are especially applicable.