SilasBarta comments on Open Thread: July 2010, Part 2 - Less Wrong

6 Post author: Alicorn 09 July 2010 06:54AM

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Comment author: SilasBarta 30 July 2010 07:49:07PM *  0 points [-]

Okay, fair point -- I did expect that Rain would report a "not proud", though did not regard it as a sort of parent-to-child attack (how would I know?).

It's just that some people seem to be so cold and calculating that I'm left wondering if there's any empathic similarity at all -- if they get the same feelings I do on being cruel, so I have to really "fall back a rank" (as I call it), and end up posing such questions.

(Yes, I know that sounds really cheesy and self-serving too, but ...)

Comment author: komponisto 30 July 2010 08:09:38PM 6 points [-]

It's just that some people seem to be so cold and calculating that I'm left wondering if there's any empathic similarity at all

I trust you're aware that this is an ironic complaint coming from someone who attributes his social problems to an autism-spectrum disorder?

In any event, I follow discussions like this with morbid fascination, because I sympathize and empathize with both you and your interlocutors. I think you make some really good points that need to be heard, but at the same time I completely understand the criticisms of your tone and manner. On the other hand, I find myself not infrequently tempted to speak in a similar tone, and it often takes a good deal of willpower on my part to avoid doing so; but then again, I would also probably react very negatively, even to the point of bitter resentment, if someone spoke in such a tone to me.

I genuinely don't know where I stand on this, so I suppose have to incline towards the group consensus, as reflected by the voting patterns. (Which necessitates, of course, that I not vote myself, so as to avoid a sort of information cascade.)

Comment author: jimrandomh 30 July 2010 08:33:34PM 3 points [-]

It's just that some people seem to be so cold and calculating that I'm left wondering if there's any empathic similarity at all

I think that's a consequence of distance. It's easier to be a jerk to someone, deliberately or accidentally, when they seem like just a username on a forum; it's harder to recognize that a conversation has gone awry when it's all text; and it's harder to back down and apologize when there are third parties watching.

In online conversations, the emotional palette for most people seems to be: detached, amused, or angry. All other emotions are rare exceptions in online discourse - not because people don't feel them, but because text written by far-away people can't easily bring them out.

Looking through this thread, I see lots of comments (both by you and at you) which seem to make detachment impossible. No one's telling jokes, either, so the remaining option is anger.

AAAAAAAAGH! Rage rage hulksmash!

Comment author: SilasBarta 30 July 2010 08:40:18PM -2 points [-]

Well, in your case, you've actually vidchatted with me, seen the actual, breathing human on the other side, found me to be more sociable than you expected

... and still didn't feel any more inclined to clean up the misrepresentations you made of me that you were aware of :-(

Comment author: jimrandomh 30 July 2010 08:59:40PM *  3 points [-]

I've gone back and edited the comment in question, and I apologize for not having done so earlier. (And, while this doesn't really justify my not having edited it earlier - the reason I didn't edit it then was that I still hadn't fully understood what happened. Revisiting it now, I noticed what I missed the last time around - namely, a full enumeration of the people who could've prevented the situation from blowing up in the first place, including myself.) I'm not sure whether linking to or summarizing that thread would be a net positive or negative, so I won't, but you can if you think making my edit visible is worth the chance that it derails the current conversation here.

Comment author: whpearson 30 July 2010 08:51:37PM 1 point [-]

Have you presented your thoughts on the mismatch between yourself and other people anywhere? I will happily delete my guess if it is not accurate.

I have a hard time knowing how to help if I don't know the problem.

Comment author: SilasBarta 30 July 2010 09:33:40PM -2 points [-]

Send me a PM if you have a diagnosis. I don't think I've made general remarks on the mismatch anywhere, though I have pointed out when people, like jimrandomh, knowingly perpetuate lies about me after being repeatedly corrected.