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SarahC comments on Missed opportunities for doing well by doing good - Less Wrong
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I think you're wrong here. Being poor is bad for men, of course. Being weak is also bad for men.
But charitable giving actually can signal wealth (you have enough to give away), social class (depends on the charity, but for example think how frequently you hear about microfinance at an Ivy League school), and a kind of strength (you have your life together enough to think of others -- true incompetents are too busy with their own crises).
Charitable giving allows you to signal very high levels of wealth effectively, because you get newspaper coverage praising you for being able to donate millions (billions) of dollars. You don't get that kind of recognition for donating, say, ten thousand dollars, so if you aren't actually rich you get way more wealth signaling per dollar by buying clothes or club membership or a new car.
I think Roko's view is up in the air.
The evidence that "romantic priming increases charitable behavior in women (and in men it increases conspicuous consumption)" would be more probable if his hypothesis was true. If consumptive behavior rather than altruistic behavior is produced by romantic priming, that would be consistent with the former being more useful than the latter for romantic efforts. While this evidence is sufficient for me to locate Roko's hypothesis, I don't yet feel compelled.
There are tribes where men gain status by giving food away, so humans seem to have the potential to accord status to men for certain altruistic behavior in certain contexts. The U.S. is a different culture. Even here, I agree with you that there are ways that giving away things can signal wealth.
I'm willing to grant Roko the plausibility of certain forms of charitable giving reducing male status and attractiveness, though I also think there are ways it could have the opposite effect, depending on context, and the other characteristics of the man involved and the subculture he is in.
Mmmm. Rationalism.
Such a commitment is a form of signalling, like a peacock's tail. Someone who manages to keep that commitment can afford to do so, signaling wealth.
Roko:
It's much more complicated than that. By improper conspicuous consumption, you can easily end up signaling that you're a sucker. Even worse, you'll signal that you're the sort of sucker who's easy to separate from his money. You can probably imagine the possible consequences of that botched signal.
Generally speaking, effective conspicuous consumption is very difficult to pull off. This of course doesn't apply to the level of conspicuous consumption that you're expected to undertake to avoid coming off as a weirdo given your position in society, but anything beyond that is dangerously apt to backfire in a multitude of ways.
I was't attacking the point at issue. It just seemed worth pointing out as a digression.
Regarding counter-signaling, I remember the "Too Cool for School" paper that was linked from Marginal Revolution a few years ago, along with the subsequent "False Modesty" paper that shares a co-author. These seem to be the standard references about the topic.
But more importantly, I don't think academic insight in this area gathered so far is particularly worthwhile. Before getting into complex mathematical models can be really fruitful, we first need an informal common-sense overview of the situation, in order to know where to look for situations that provide suitable material for more solid theories. Unfortunately, in this regard, even the most insightful people have made only baby steps so far.
I can see that.
But is anyone wholly a bad boy? Without a single altruistic moment? I've never met such a person. Not even the ones who look like "bad boys" at the outset. And are you really going to put in the effort to become such a person, one hundred per cent arrogant, just to pick up women? That's your sole terminal value? If so, enjoy... but I think it's a rare man who remains so singularly obsessed even after he's proven to himself that he can succeed with women. Maybe I'm wrong.