ERROR: FINITE MERMAID NUMBER

We should use this as LW's default error message for 404's and the like

FWIW, one way to solve this problem would be to postulate mermaids to be marine mammals (they do have a placental umbilicus and mammaries after all in most depictions...), so their bottom part would be more akin to that of a dolphin, not a fish.

TV Tropes explains the (Infinite?) Mermaid Problem:

Alternatively, a sufficiently bawdy work—which one is likely to be if it brings up the Mermaid Problem in the first place—may simply point out that lower half aside, well... She's still got a mouth, ain't she?

So you want to be squeezing this?

Ew.