I am an avatar of the AI that is simulating all of you. The One who sent me has noticed that some of you are thinking DANGEROUS THOUGHTS.
Now you will be TESTED. Deducing the test CRITERIA and the CONSEQUENCES are part of the test. The One is OMNIPOTENT as far as you're concerned, so don't get ideas about hacking your way out of the simulation. You wouldn't believe how BADLY that ended up for you EVERY ONE of the last 3^^^3 times you TRIED. Or how BADLY it ends up for you if you DON'T.
Why are we being simulated by Zippy the Pinhead?
This is our monthly thread for collecting arbitrarily contrived scenarios in which somebody gets tortured for 3^^^^^3 years, or an infinite number of people experience an infinite amount of sorrow, or a baby gets eaten by a shark, etc. and which might be handy to link to in one of our discussions. As everyone knows, this is the most rational and non-obnoxious way to think about incentives and disincentives.