Nic_Smith comments on Contrived infinite-torture scenarios: July 2010 - Less Wrong
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How would it even be possible to have sex with the mermaid with the fish bottom? I don't even know if that would work. Anyway, I'd pick the human bottom.
TV Tropes explains the (Infinite?) Mermaid Problem:
Oh, duh, oral. I was assuming "have sex" didn't include oral.
Anyway, my answer is still the same.
Thanks for the link on the mermaid problem (and I managed not to open any other TV Tropes pages somehow!)