I should be clear that I consider it a fictional me, as distinct from a fictional some other guy.

OK, I undestand (I think). As long as the fictional person has the same character as you, then you can identify yourself with them, but if they have a different character (as they must have to engage in homo-erotic kino escalation) then you don't identify yourself with them. But either way, you don't mind that people write stories about them, since they're fictional.