I suspect the problem goes deeper than the specifics of feminism, though those are worth addressing. A lot of people interpret moral advice in self-damaging ways, and I'm not sure what's going on there. It seems like a taught vulnerability.

You are saying, I take it, that the guy in question was mistaken in believing the advice prohibited the use of pornography? It isn't quite clear to me whether you were saying that he correctly understood the pornography related implications but ought not have considered it self-damaging. I have of course seen both, as well as those (not you) who suggest that following the ideals is actually beneficial to the individual as well, almost by definition.