I once wrote a very similar list, composed of questions to ask yourself when in an argument. I don't remember most of it, but my favorite one was:
"Are you wrong?"
I think a lot of people are happy to spend a long time arguing a point, responding to rebuttals and forming their own, without ever honestly considering whether their point is not correct. It becomes a game of argument and counter-argument rather than an actual exchange of ideas. If you want to play that game, you're certainly allowed to--but be honest with yourself that it's a game, not a conversation (and don't play it with other people without their consent).
I once wrote a very similar list, composed of questions to ask yourself when in an argument. I don't remember most of it, but my favorite one was:
This is yet another situation where my favorite question is "What do I want?" Being rational is the easy part - if and when I pull 'have an epistemologically rational conversation" goal into my self awareness. On the other hand if realize that social factors are more important to me I am a lot better at explicitly being social rather than just letting social signaling biases corrupt my epistemic reasoning while I pretend to be defending Truth.
Thanks to David Brin, I've discovered a blogger, Michael Dobson, who has written, among other things, a fourteen-part series on cognitive biases. But that's not what I'm linking to today.
This is what I'm linking to:
You're Not Being Reasonable
Yes, much of it is pretty basic stuff, but as he says, a reminder every once in a while comes in handy, and this is as good a summary of the rules for having a reasonable discussion as I've seen anywhere.
And the rest of the blog seems pretty good, too. (Did I mention the fourteen-part series on cognitive biases?)