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Relsqui comments on Link: "You're Not Being Reasonable" - Less Wrong
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I once wrote a very similar list, composed of questions to ask yourself when in an argument. I don't remember most of it, but my favorite one was:
"Are you wrong?"
I think a lot of people are happy to spend a long time arguing a point, responding to rebuttals and forming their own, without ever honestly considering whether their point is not correct. It becomes a game of argument and counter-argument rather than an actual exchange of ideas. If you want to play that game, you're certainly allowed to--but be honest with yourself that it's a game, not a conversation (and don't play it with other people without their consent).
This is yet another situation where my favorite question is "What do I want?" Being rational is the easy part - if and when I pull 'have an epistemologically rational conversation" goal into my self awareness. On the other hand if realize that social factors are more important to me I am a lot better at explicitly being social rather than just letting social signaling biases corrupt my epistemic reasoning while I pretend to be defending Truth.
That seems sensible--and, actually, stating this explicitly might help avoid some types of conflict. When "I want to be entertained by having a nitpicky argument" meets "I want to convince you because I'm passionate about this," someone's going to wind up unhappy.