This is yet another situation where my favorite question is "What do I want?"
That seems sensible--and, actually, stating this explicitly might help avoid some types of conflict. When "I want to be entertained by having a nitpicky argument" meets "I want to convince you because I'm passionate about this," someone's going to wind up unhappy.
Thanks to David Brin, I've discovered a blogger, Michael Dobson, who has written, among other things, a fourteen-part series on cognitive biases. But that's not what I'm linking to today.
This is what I'm linking to:
You're Not Being Reasonable
Yes, much of it is pretty basic stuff, but as he says, a reminder every once in a while comes in handy, and this is as good a summary of the rules for having a reasonable discussion as I've seen anywhere.
And the rest of the blog seems pretty good, too. (Did I mention the fourteen-part series on cognitive biases?)