I know or at least seem to know that I'm just infected with a meme, I know all the standard arguments, and the majority of my friends are atheists, but it feels right to the extent that I am experiencing serious mental discomfort at not believing.

Is it not believing or is it that the rationalist approach to life seems alien?

Because I sympathize with the latter. My self-examination suggests I would be genuinely happier if Thoth (or a similarly constructed deity) existed.

It seems like the best course of action is placebo (I'm going to pray because it calms me, not because I expect someone is listening) or subversion (many people have worshiped a personification of reason/wisdom, and nothing stops you from doing the same).

I mean, read the silliness Eliezer's written out about a Bayesian Conspiracy. Why does that exist? Because conspiracies are exciting, and because intelligent, ambitious people are naturally attracted to cabals. If you have levers that are pulled by religiosity, change what the levers are attached to and pull away.