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wedrifid comments on Defecting by Accident - A Flaw Common to Analytical People - Less Wrong
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This far into the thread it shouldn't surprise you. You have had the causes of the objection explained to you multiple times by multiple people from multiple perspectives. Read through this thread again with the assumption that those who are speaking to you understand the value of tact and politeness, probably better than you. They have an intuitive feel of social dynamics, what works, what is inappropriate and what is insulting. They are also analytical people - they have the ability to describe a model of social behaviour that demonstrates why 'polite and nice' can also be a condescending slight depending on how it is done.
siduri's comment is a good place to start. Then you can look further and try to understand how you have managed to alienate your audience to the extent that they have completely written you off. WrongBot's reaction is in no way bizarre or unusual. It's what you should expect from humans if you provide the verbal stimulus like what you have provided here.
The person one is correcting is not always the intended benefactor of one's reply.
Well, that's just it. I'm not surprised people disagree. That's to be expected. I'm surprised people had a significant emotional reaction to it.
Actually, there's been overwhelmingly more appreciation of this than disagreement. It got submitted to HN and was +110 there, and 80%+ of the comments were positive. I also got a half dozen emails saying thanks.
But you know what? You're right. I thought I would try to address everyone's concerns, criticisms, and share my experiences. And some people are taking personal offense, on an emotional level. That's not my intent - so yes, indeed, I'll bow out of the discussion now. If anyone has any questions or comments, they're welcome to email me. Really, I do think this is an area that some minor changes can produce huge dividends. Or maybe I'm mistaken - happy to discuss via email if anyone has questons or comments and wants to discuss, but I'll move on from the comments now.
I think you should take your surprise as a sign that your model of tact is in need of updating. You were not mistaken when you claimed that following the social norms we do here would tend to serve one ill in real life, but the approach you've suggested substituting for it seems like a case of reversed stupidity. I think it would be a good idea for you to review the suggestions others have made in this thread so that you can apply your own advice in a more effective manner.
He didn't say 'for now'.
Don't you hate it when that happens? :)
Yes. Yet I'm not surprised in retrospect. Contempt is the brain killer. At least, that is the one state that I've learned provokes me to simple mistakes. Far more than drunkenness for example. Every time I've said stupid things (in my best retrospective judgement) it has been when the context has provoked me to contempt. Sometimes I remember to eject before it is too late but I evidently haven't fully made a habit of it just yet.
Almost every time for me. I've managed one or two stupidities even without that preparation.
It's just so much more embarrassing to realise that other people being foolish doesn't preclude being stupid myself. :P