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atucker comments on Unpacking the Concept of "Blackmail" - Less Wrong
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The default is special because it costs the other person time/money/effort to do anything other than the default.
Hence, not blowing up your car is the default, but so is not giving you food.
I feel like what people call blackmail is largely related to intentionality. The blackmailer goes out of their way to harm you should you not cooperate.
In the trade example, whereas if someone wants to trade and you don't, and you need the object but don't trade, we don't blame that on the other person trying to harm you.
Re intentionality, everyone knows about Knobe's experiment, right?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHoyMfHudaE