Will_Sawin comments on Unpacking the Concept of "Blackmail" - Less Wrong
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Which shows exactly why the rule is not universally applicable - the other party does not, in general, know what decision you're going to make (though they can predict it to some level of accuracy), and so there's a cost/benefit situation.
I am going to try and save my attempted solution ( http://lesswrong.com/lw/39a/unpacking_the_concept_of_blackmail/342c?c=1 ) from being stuck at the bottom of the thread. This might be inappropriate behavior, and if so please inform me.